![]() ![]() If something doesn’t feel right to your protectee, they can talk to you about it, check in and get help deciding how to handle it. ![]() Perhaps it’s simply that if your protectee is approached by someone at a party or online, they can use you as a reason for turning that person down if they don’t feel right about them. Maybe before your protectee plays with someone new, you have to actually meet with them. Here are some of the things it can mean: You’re screening potential play partners for someone- maybe your agreement with your protectee is that before they can meet with or play with someone new, the prospective new person has to talk with you first, either on the phone or by email. Suggested reading: What Does It Mean To Be A Protector? This effectively means that you cannot be searched by your genuine age or location, and that people need to put some effort in and message you to find that out. One suggestion is to set your age as 95 or 96, and your location to Antarctica (another popular one is the Vatican). One thing that is a definite perk is that it allows for a decrease in the number of messages sent if someone does a location search and copy&pastes the same message to all women of a certain age in their vicinity – I am not saying that it does not happen to men or those outside of the gender binary either, merely that statistically, s-type women tend to get the bulk of those type of messages. If you aren’t doing it to sleep around without a/your partner knowing or for some other related reason, anonymity can be a security blanket of sorts. There is nothing wrong in being anonymous, if you are doing so for job reasons, because you are new or just because you feel personally safer and less stressed in interacting with people. On the right hand side under ‘set as avatar’ and ‘delete’, is a section called ‘privacy’ where, upon clicking ‘edit’ next to who it says the audience is, ‘friend’s only’ is one of the drop-down options. To adjust an image to friend’s only, click on the picture to open it. By all means, if exhibitionism is your thing then post away, but it’s just a matter of being aware of your audience, and knowing that the ability to fine-tune it is there. A default suggestion of mine to someone exceptionally new to Fetlife, is to keep explicit images as friend’s only at least until you are more familiar with the site, how it works and you’ve at least vaguely figured what you want to get out of it. Friend’s Onlyįetlife has two options for images Fetlife (public) and Friend’s Only. The Formatting Guidelines page is a great cheat-sheet and sandbox of sorts to practice in. But stating how you’d like to be messaged and on what terms is not a bad idea. ![]() Bring me substance or leave me the fuck alone.’ Tone and use of swear-words (or not) is up to you. An example from a House member is ‘Going forward, all “Hey, How are you?” And equivalent messages will be responded with throat punch. Some might involve ‘Message my partner before messaging me’, and some might even decline messages entirely until they have a better handle on how the hustle and bustle of Fetlife works. Statements can vary from ‘Any messages expecting auto-submission will be blocked’ to ‘Any message that shows they have not read my profile will be deleted without being replied to’. Some people are fine with any message, some are not. While this isn’t done by everyone, some people take comfort from having a statement or two at the top of their profile stating messaging terms. Consider changing your name, location, and age to that which reflects the real you after you complete the below suggestions. As pathetic as it sounds, less desirable types will click on any profile in the age range of their preferences. It is great for piece of mind to change your age to something above 90 years old. Much like the above recommendations, this one also makes it a little more difficult for fuckbois and fakes to bombard you with messages while you complete constructing your profile. Some popular locations include Antarctica, The Vatican and other pseudo-anonymous locations. We recommend, till you have completed your profile, you change your location to something arbitrary. Don’t worry, you can change this back after flushing out your profile. “Ambitious” types have been known to seek fetlife members on various other platforms. If it is not already too late, consider changing your name/alias to one that is not already on any other social media sites or apps. First off, welcome! This writing is going to have a few tips and tricks in it, as well as links to other pertinent writings. ![]()
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